Read the Bible!
Aug. 12th, 2008 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sailorstarsunWhy aren't you heathens reading the bible!?! Don't you know it contains all of life's answers!?!
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 -
"women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
Why are you dirty women speaking in church!?!! I know you are; I've seen you do it! Stop it!!
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 -
"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death."
See, I was right! We should be allowed to kill obnoxious children! =D
Exodus 35:2 -
"For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death."
Say goodbye to doctors and ambulance drivers... and Target employees. For they dared to work on Sunday.
Leviticus 25:44-46 -
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life..."
And slavery is A-OK! =D Hey, the Bible says so!
Luke 14:25-26 -
"Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 'If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple'."
::laughs:: I'm totally using that at the next holiday. Why am I not spending Thanksgiving with the family?? Because Jesus told me to hate you.
And of course, my personal favorite..
Leviticus 20:13 -
"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
Kill them gays!!!
Seriously, guys. Why aren't you studying this all-important, totally real, absolutely not made up by bigot kings hundreds of years ago so totally applies to today,fairy tale all knowing book of holy good righteousness?
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 -
"women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
Why are you dirty women speaking in church!?!! I know you are; I've seen you do it! Stop it!!
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 -
"If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death."
See, I was right! We should be allowed to kill obnoxious children! =D
Exodus 35:2 -
"For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death."
Say goodbye to doctors and ambulance drivers... and Target employees. For they dared to work on Sunday.
Leviticus 25:44-46 -
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life..."
And slavery is A-OK! =D Hey, the Bible says so!
Luke 14:25-26 -
"Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 'If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple'."
::laughs:: I'm totally using that at the next holiday. Why am I not spending Thanksgiving with the family?? Because Jesus told me to hate you.
And of course, my personal favorite..
Leviticus 20:13 -
"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
Kill them gays!!!
Seriously, guys. Why aren't you studying this all-important, totally real, absolutely not made up by bigot kings hundreds of years ago so totally applies to today,
