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sailorstarsunI actually had two people threaten to sue me today. For doing my job.
But before I get to that, I'll mention the lady trying to return some DVDs. She (conveniently) didn't have a receipt, and paid cash, so we couldn't do a lookup. So I went to try and do a no-receipt return, but the computer came up with "You can't do a no-receipt return on this item." The only reason I can think of for it to say that is if she'd already gone over the $70 limit for no-receipt returns, but to humor her I tried calling our authorization people (in India....) and see if they could do anything. They predictably said there was nothing to be done, but the whole time I was on the phone she was standing there saying "I can't be over the limit, I've never been here before. I've never been here before. I've never been here before!"
Really?
I wanted to drop the phone and say "Well if you've never been here before, maybe you should return these DVDs to the store you got them at." But of course, I didn't. 'Cause Ihave no balls need my job.
In second place for douchbag of the day is the first guy who apparently wants to sue me. Jerkface comes in with a CD saying he wanted to return it, but it was opened. I started to explain how it says right on the receipt "Same item only if opened," but before I could even get two words out he butted in with how his 11 year old son bought the CD, and we sold it to him just fine, but the album was full of expletives and filthy language, etc. and that they "don't use that kind of language in [their] house." But there were no parental warnings or mature ratings or anything on the box, so if I didn't take it back, he'll SUE SUE SUE! So, whatever, I did the return.
But really, was that totally necessary? Treating me like that was really necessary?
So apparently in this guy's house, you're allowed to be and asshole, but not say it.
LOL
Look, Dickface. I know it's not my place to judge your parenting, but lets face the facts. Your pwecious widdle baaaaaaby is going to be hearing some fucking swearing and explicit fucking language in school and the rest of the outside world, so deal with it. By high school he's either going to be swearing like that himself, or he's going to get the shit beat out of him every day for being a pansy-ass fucking faggot. So kiss my ass, and go die in a fire.
But the winner of the Douchebag of the Day award goes to the asshole who freaked. the fuck. OUT on me. Over 43 cents.
See, Michigan is one of two states that has a law where if an item in a store is marked one price, but the customer is charged and pays a different price, they get the difference back, plus 10x the difference up to $5. It's the bounty law... thing. But, see, the thing is, for it to apply the price has to be marked on the item, meaning a tag or sticker or something.
So Fuckhead comes up with a can of bug spray and says there was a sign on the shelf saying it was on sale for whatever price, but he was rung up whatever other price. The difference was 43 cents. As I start getting him the difference (being nice about not even bothering to check if he was fucking lying about the sign or not, which he probably was, as I learned he was really really just out to scream at someone about anything), he says he also wants the bounty. I say that the bounty only applies if the item itself is marked, and he starts screaming about how none of the items in the store are marked and it does not have to be marked and according to business law code-what-the-fuck-ever scream scream scream he's going to sue me if he doesn't get his five dollar bounty and "I WANT TO SEE EVERY MANAGER IN THE DISTRICT!!" and FFFFFFFFFUCK!
I wonder if he noticed that I spent most of his oh-so-mature tirade just staring at the wall blankly, looking away only to check my watch to see how long he'd been going on.
Well of course my manager had walked over to see what the fuck was going on, and I just looked at her (it was actually a really cute moment, as she was standing over my shoulder so I just kind of flopped my head back and looked at her upside-down), and she was all pleasant like "What? =3" .... Now that I think about it, I think she did that on purpose, because it made him go off all over again, quoting business law codes that he probably just made up right then. So manager just said "Go ahead and do it. We're not supposed to, but just do it."
That prompted yet another rant from Fuckhead, because "Yes you are supposed to do it! Because I know everything and am so important and entitled and will scream such words as LAW! and SUE! and ME! ME! ME! It's all about me! I want it I want it I want it! Waaaaaah I always get what I want!" (not his exact words).
So lead manager of the night is called over, and he bitches at her for a while, then takes corporate phone number so he can scream at them for a while, and gives her his phone number so all the other managers can call him to be screamed at (I assume), and after alllllll that....
I give him his five dollars.
But before I get to that, I'll mention the lady trying to return some DVDs. She (conveniently) didn't have a receipt, and paid cash, so we couldn't do a lookup. So I went to try and do a no-receipt return, but the computer came up with "You can't do a no-receipt return on this item." The only reason I can think of for it to say that is if she'd already gone over the $70 limit for no-receipt returns, but to humor her I tried calling our authorization people (in India....) and see if they could do anything. They predictably said there was nothing to be done, but the whole time I was on the phone she was standing there saying "I can't be over the limit, I've never been here before. I've never been here before. I've never been here before!"
Really?
I wanted to drop the phone and say "Well if you've never been here before, maybe you should return these DVDs to the store you got them at." But of course, I didn't. 'Cause I
In second place for douchbag of the day is the first guy who apparently wants to sue me. Jerkface comes in with a CD saying he wanted to return it, but it was opened. I started to explain how it says right on the receipt "Same item only if opened," but before I could even get two words out he butted in with how his 11 year old son bought the CD, and we sold it to him just fine, but the album was full of expletives and filthy language, etc. and that they "don't use that kind of language in [their] house." But there were no parental warnings or mature ratings or anything on the box, so if I didn't take it back, he'll SUE SUE SUE! So, whatever, I did the return.
But really, was that totally necessary? Treating me like that was really necessary?
So apparently in this guy's house, you're allowed to be and asshole, but not say it.
LOL
Look, Dickface. I know it's not my place to judge your parenting, but lets face the facts. Your pwecious widdle baaaaaaby is going to be hearing some fucking swearing and explicit fucking language in school and the rest of the outside world, so deal with it. By high school he's either going to be swearing like that himself, or he's going to get the shit beat out of him every day for being a pansy-ass fucking faggot. So kiss my ass, and go die in a fire.
But the winner of the Douchebag of the Day award goes to the asshole who freaked. the fuck. OUT on me. Over 43 cents.
See, Michigan is one of two states that has a law where if an item in a store is marked one price, but the customer is charged and pays a different price, they get the difference back, plus 10x the difference up to $5. It's the bounty law... thing. But, see, the thing is, for it to apply the price has to be marked on the item, meaning a tag or sticker or something.
So Fuckhead comes up with a can of bug spray and says there was a sign on the shelf saying it was on sale for whatever price, but he was rung up whatever other price. The difference was 43 cents. As I start getting him the difference (being nice about not even bothering to check if he was fucking lying about the sign or not, which he probably was, as I learned he was really really just out to scream at someone about anything), he says he also wants the bounty. I say that the bounty only applies if the item itself is marked, and he starts screaming about how none of the items in the store are marked and it does not have to be marked and according to business law code-what-the-fuck-ever scream scream scream he's going to sue me if he doesn't get his five dollar bounty and "I WANT TO SEE EVERY MANAGER IN THE DISTRICT!!" and FFFFFFFFFUCK!
I wonder if he noticed that I spent most of his oh-so-mature tirade just staring at the wall blankly, looking away only to check my watch to see how long he'd been going on.
Well of course my manager had walked over to see what the fuck was going on, and I just looked at her (it was actually a really cute moment, as she was standing over my shoulder so I just kind of flopped my head back and looked at her upside-down), and she was all pleasant like "What? =3" .... Now that I think about it, I think she did that on purpose, because it made him go off all over again, quoting business law codes that he probably just made up right then. So manager just said "Go ahead and do it. We're not supposed to, but just do it."
That prompted yet another rant from Fuckhead, because "Yes you are supposed to do it! Because I know everything and am so important and entitled and will scream such words as LAW! and SUE! and ME! ME! ME! It's all about me! I want it I want it I want it! Waaaaaah I always get what I want!" (not his exact words).
So lead manager of the night is called over, and he bitches at her for a while, then takes corporate phone number so he can scream at them for a while, and gives her his phone number so all the other managers can call him to be screamed at (I assume), and after alllllll that....
I give him his five dollars.
