Renji luv

I just spent the past...few hours making a new layout for PA!Renji's LJ. I'm basically satisfied with it, except for how to get the default user pic hidden... .o_- But I don't want to not have a default user pic, because then all the comments I made with it as default would be...icon-less. =x But if I can't find a way I'll just...deal with it or something.

But! The big fun part is...the random 00111001101's in the background...aren't random. .^_~

( The full code. )

I wonder if anyone will "get it." .^_~

bunches o' quizzies

( early morning quizzlies )

And that is how you waste a morning....

no place

I think I'm finally getting around to having my life sorted out. What I'm going to do, I mean. My Dad and Grandparents have, of course, not let up in their pressuring me to move back to Michigan. Going so far as to inquire with the college I started going to out there if I'd be able to transfer my credits from here to there (which I'm almost positive can't be done as easily as they're thinking/hoping it is - it's going to be a real kick in the face for them when OCC says "Sorry, but none of these credits are valid here," because it's not like Hartnell is going to just let a source of money student go, willy-nilly).

::sigh::

Now, realistically I can see that returning to Michigan would be the best thing for me, given my current situation. Nobody will hire me and I'm falling deeper and deeper into debt; my credit is falling all to hell because I can't pay any of my bills. Shit, I can't even pay my rent, and will probably be kicked out of the house before too long. And I have nobody out here to help me, no system of support at all. If I moved back there I could live with Dad or Grandparents, not have to pay rent or hardly even buy food for myself. I would have that support. I would be that much closer to people who mean a lot to me, even outside my family; I'd be a mere five hour drive from Tabby and Ri-chan and Aniki. And it's not like I'd be missing conventions - I could hit up Katsucon, Otakon, Anime Central, Anime North, all kinds! I'd be able to get my cosplay groove on anyway, and even have Grandma's sewing machine and experienced hands at my disposal.

And also... It's probably dumb, but it pops into my head that all I need to feel any place is my "home" is if Kurama is there. As long as she's with me, I can survive anywhere. (damn it! I get so freakin' emotional when I think of that little gremlin)

So I think that would really be the best thing for me, to go back there until I figure out how to get to my next destination.

But.

That's right - But.

I don't want to leave California having gained nothing. I don't want my time out here to have been a waste. And I do not want to go feeling like a loser who couldn't make it. I want to have accomplished something, to say that in the end, these past six years have meant something.

I think, if I can get through school here and come out of it with a degree, I'll be satisfied.

So...to make a short story long...my plan is to continue here for another two or whatever years, until I get that social sciences AA degree. Then I will go back to Michigan and get another degree in language arts or whatnot, and possibly try for a BA as well. Maybe......

But my ultimate goal, having a "home base" to...well, really just to leave my stuff at.. .^^* ...is to spend some time in Japan, either as a student or even a teacher. That's what I eventually want to do.

I just need to be patient, and somehow get through these next few years. AFter that, things will get easier.


I hope.....


(...and I will proceed to ignore that as I finished writing this out at Starbucks, that "I've been so strong for so long... never thought I'd make it" song started playing... .>_> )