One - 6/10
May. 8th, 2011 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sailorstarsunI hate myself to all hell right now. I thought I'd get on the ball and work on another doll story. Got all the pictures taken last night, opened them up this morning, and then proceeded to mindlessly delete them all. .~_~ By the time I realized what I'd done, it was too late. Now I'm going to have to take them all all over again. So instead of being on the ball, it'll probably be another month until the next one. .-_-
So instead of a doll story, I'll post the next chapter of this thing. Feel free to tell me how much I suck. Right now, I definitely believe it.
Title: One Last Chance
Genre: drama, romance, mm/yaoi/slash/gay/whatever you want to call it
Rating: R/NC-17 - there are some detailed sex scenes, but it's not a smut story
Warnings: Some of those sex scenes are a bit rough, but everything is consensual. Also, if you're perceptive, spoilers. >3
Chapter Notes: I can't tell if Nico is getting too out of character or not. .>_> In my defense, the point is that he's changing... But...
Chapter 6
To his credit, Nicholai recognized the changes in himself.
He liked Clay. He wasn’t lying when he said he enjoyed his company, and he liked how well their bodies fit together. He liked how small and light Clay was, but not so delicate that he couldn’t take a little rough treatment. He liked how saucy Clay was, the naughty brat, and how he wasn’t too shy to initiate sex.
He liked Clay, but he needed Luciano.
It burned, this need he felt for him. He wanted to crawl inside and consume him. Every time Luciano fought him off, it made him want him more. Every time the boy wouldn’t give himself, Nicholai wanted to take him.
But it wasn’t just Luciano’s resistance that drew him in. There was a mystery to him that Nicholai wanted to discover. There was something strange and wrong with the boy’s life, and he felt a closeness to him because of it.
He’d gone so long not wanting anything to do with other people, and now he had two guys crowding his mind.
Nicholai was laying on his bed, arms behind his head, lost in thought until Akira’s voice grabbed his attention.
“Clay is Asian, isn’t he?” Guess their little talk before gave him the impression that Nicholai was open to discussion.
“Clay Watanabe… Sounds pretty Asian-y to me.” He turned his head to look at the Japanese boy, who wasn’t looking at him. “But you would know more about that than I would.”
Akira absent-mindedly adjusted his glasses. “He’s half Japanese.”
“That’s nice.”
It was quiet a moment, before Akira cautiously continued. “Don’t you think… people of the same race should stick together?”
“What are you, racist or something?”
“No, it’s just… people from the same culture will have a better understanding of each other…”
“You think because he’s half Japanese I should keep my big, Russian cock away from him?”
Akira’s cheeks burst into bright crimson. “P-please don’t speak like that.”
Nicholai smirked at him. Then after a pause, he said “You like him, don’t you?”
“I- I- I-… No… I-it’s… not like that…”
“You should join us sometime. See what a big, Russian c-“
“Enough!” Akira turned his head away and threw his hands up, as if blocking a physical attack. “Please forget I said anything.”
Nicholai laughed at him, then got up off the bed and threw a sleeveless hooded jacked on over the tank-top he wore. He figured he probably looked like some kind of punk with his ripped jeans, but it wasn’t like they were going to some classy restaurant, so he opted for comfort.
Clay, he found upon meeting up with the boy, had gone for the cute look. He was wearing short shorts and thigh-high socks that surely would have only gone up to the knees of a normal person, with a tee-shirt that had some blue-haired cartoon character printed on it. It worked for him.
The student office-aid raised an eyebrow at Nicholai when they went to sign out day-passes, and Clay laughed, saying “I’ll make sure he comes back.”
Nicholai just grumbled, “What, he thinks I’m gonna take off or something?” But the truth was, he felt a sudden sense of freedom as soon as they’d stepped out of the school’s front doors.
There was a large park not too far from the school, with a lake and food vendors and a Ferris Wheel – all the things needed for a nice, real date. To get there they had to take a bus, but it was an easy trip, and before they knew it they were breathing fresh air and walking the same path actual couples did.
Clay took Nicholai’s hand, and he didn’t pull away. They walked like that for a time, either ignoring or, in Nicholai’s case, glaring at the people who stopped to stare at the two boys holding hands. He admitted, though, that they probably made a strange sight, like a demon and an angel pretending to be a couple. Actually, the people who didn’t stare probably just assumed they were brothers.
“So,” he asked after a bit, “what do you want to do?”
“Cotton candy, then the Ferris Wheel. No, wait! Ferris Wheel, then cotton candy.” Clay was brimming with happiness.
They rode the Ferris Wheel, where Clay revealed he was actually terrified of heights, but felt safe with Nicholai next to him. They had cotton candy, and threw coins into a wishing fountain, bought a lunch and had a picnic in the grass. At a game booth that was set up, Nicholai won a small teddy bear for Clay, making the boy squeak in joy.
It was just like a real date.
They had gone back to walking around when Clay spotted a vendor cart selling snacks, drinks, and candy. “Look, they have M&M’s!” he said with a smile. “They’re my favorite! I’m going to get some.” He trotted off, leaving a thoughtful Nicholai behind.
Akira had known.
He wandered to a nearby bench while he waited for Clay, mind reeling with what should have been obvious. Akira liked Clay a lot, and had taken the time to learn things about him. His family and favorite candy, and probably a lot of other things Nicholai himself didn’t know. Akira probably deserved Clay more than he ever would. He would definitely treat him better.
Akira would kiss him.
Clay bounced over to the bench, teddy bear under an arm as he tore into the bag of M&M’s. He sat next to Nicholai, saying “I haven’t had these in a while.”
Nicholai watched him for a moment, looking so happy and childishly innocent. He liked that innocence; something about it always made him want to corrupt the boy. And Clay seemed to really like being corrupted. But he deserved to be cherished and loved.
“You’re pretty cute, huh?”
“You think so?” Clay gave a knowing smile.
“Ya know, if you want someone to be boyfriends with, there are other guys who would be more than happy to do the job.”
Clay stopped chewing his candies, and swallowed what was in his mouth. “Are… are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”
He could lie and say that was the case, that he didn’t want to see him anymore. Maybe then Clay would move on and find someone else. But he didn’t want to lie and didn’t want to force the boy to be any sadder about the situation then Nicholai knew he already was. He wanted Clay to make the choice on his own, and to do that he needed to know what his options were.
“No,” he finally responded. But the delayed response had already brought tears to the other’s eyes. “No, I meant it when I said I like being around you. But I can’t give you what you want, and there are other guys I know like yo-“
“I don’t care!” Clay shouted. He brought his hands up to wipe away tears that continued to fall, dropping the bag of M&M’s in the process. The colored candies spilled out over the ground, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I don’t want anyone else! I only want you. Even if you can’t be my boyfriend. Even if you won’t kiss me. I… I only want you. So please! Please don’t throw me away…”
Clay leaned over suddenly, burying his face in Nicholai’s chest and clinging to his jacket as he cried. As if he were on the verge of losing something very precious. And all Nicholai could think to do was wrap an arm around the boy and assure him he wouldn’t be thrown away. If this was Clay’s choice, he could certainly live with it. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if something happened in his past to make him so afraid of rejection, or if this was simply what people in love were like.
They sat like that, with Clay crying out his fears and Nicholai glaring at anyone who dared stare at them, until the small boy’s sobs subsided. When Clay had been silent, save for a few hiccups, for a bit, Nicholai asked “Are you alright?” He felt a nod in response. “It’s getting late; do you want to go back?” Another nod. “Do you want me to buy you some more M&M’s?” This time the head shook in the negative.
It was actually later than he thought. Twilight was descending as they left the park, and it was fully dark by the time they returned to the school. Clay kept his head down as they signed in and walked back to the dorms. Anyone who tried asking “What’s wrong?” got scared off by Nicholai.
They reached Clay’s room and went in, and one look had his roommate, a tall, middle-Eastern kid whose name Nicholai couldn’t be bothered to remember, jumping up, asking “What did you do to him!?”
“Nothing,” Nicholai responded, not backing down when the other guy tried getting into his face. The kid was tall, but Nicholai was still taller. “Mind your own business.”
“My friends are my business.”
“Nasir, it’s fine” Clay said softly, bringing the other two to step away from each other.
Nasir threw a sneer at Nicholai, then just said “Fine. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” He turned and went back to his desk, but it was clear he’d be keeping an ear out to make sure Clay was truly alright, like some kind of white knight.
Clay began changing into his pajamas, so Nicholai pulled down the bedcovers. Though the sun had set, it was still early in the evening, but it had been a long day. No doubt the boy just wanted to close his eyes to the world for a while. So when Clay crawled into bed, Nicholai stooped down to pull the covers to his chin and tuck the little teddy bear in with him.
“I’m sorry,” Clay said. “I ruined our date.”
Putting a hand on the boy’s head and mussing his hair, Nicholai responded with “Nah, wasn’t ruined. I had fun.”
“I’m sorry if I said too much…”
“Don’t worry about it. You can’t help it.”
“And neither can you…”
Nicholai looked at him a moment, before saying “I just don’t get what you like about someone like me.”
Though most of Clay’s mouth was hidden by the bedcovers, he could see a smile as the boy answered “Because you’re so big and strong. I like your body.” He chuckled softly as Nicholai snorted at him, then added “And because you’re so nice.”
“Nice? Me?”
“Yep.”
“Are you sure you’re thinking of the right person?”
“You’re very nice to me. Especially lately.” Then his voice got very soft. “You’ve been a lot less angry lately.”
It was true. Since he’d been given his one last chance, and since deciding he needed to stay here, Nicholai had calmed down a lot. He was generally busy enough trying to keep out of trouble to let the preppy little shits here bother him, and they’d started leaving him alone since he wasn’t stalking about, picking fights with everyone. Even the teachers had begun greeting him with somewhat cautious ‘good morning’s. He was even starting to work on improving his grades, which took even more energy away from anger and fighting. Ever since that day, he’d had more focus, and less rampage.
Perhaps Feldspar knew what she was doing after all.
Nicholai gave a half-smile, then mussed Clay’s hair one more time, and stood up straight. “Get some sleep, brat.”
How easy it would be to make Clay happy, he mused as he headed to his own dorm. Just a little kiss. Maybe just give in and be boyfriends – it’s not like either of them were dating anyone else, and then he’d never have to see those brown eyes looking so sad again. It would be so easy.
But then there was Luciano.
Sitting in front of his door.
His knees were pulled to his chest and his arms were wrapped around them. His head was down, with his black hair falling forward, hiding his face.
“What are you doing here?” Nicholai asked as he approached.
Luciano looked up quickly, lifting a hand to brush his hair away. He gave a smile, but there was a pain in his eyes. “Oh! Hi,” he said.
“Why are you here?” Nicholai asked again.
“I got to thinking, and just became lonely,” he answered.
“Thinking? About me?”
“Not especially,” Luciano said with a forced smile. “Mostly about Papa, but one thought led to another, and… I guess… I missed you.”
Nicholai stared at him for a moment, then all of a sudden reached down and grabbed him by his shirtfront, hauling him to his feet. Kicking the door open, he briefly noted the room was empty as he dragged Luciano in, then knocked the door closed with an elbow. Without even turning on the lights, he threw the other boy on to the bed, and then climbed between his legs to lay over him. Their faces were close enough that their breath mingled. They were motionless for a moment, silent except for the panting breaths that came. They lay together like that, still. But Nicholai was getting hard, and he could feel Luciano starting to grow erect too.
Nicholai began rotating his hips, pressing their clothed groins together, pulling a moan from the other. He was so close to finally getting what he’d been needing; so close to finally having this mysterious boy. He pressed his hips down harder, and then pressed again.
“S-stop,” Luciano said. And when Nicholai didn’t, he reached up to put hands on his chest, giving a push. “Stop, please.”
“If I don’t?” Nicholai kept moving, making both of them harder. Moans were more frequent. “Will you point your gun at me again?”
“I’m unarmed,” Luciano managed between gasps. “But I’m asking you, please stop.”
And Nicholai did. It took every last ounce of willpower, but he stopped moving. They lay there like that, both painfully erect, crazy with need, but they didn’t move. Finally, Nicholai asked “Is it because of your girl?”
“Partially,” Luciano answered.
“Partially?”
“Mostly, it’s me.”
Then Nicholai climbed off of him, sitting at the edge of the bed as Luciano also sat up. Their eyes were adjusted to the dark, helped by the bright glow from Akira’s alarm clock. Luciano’s hands moved to cover his erection, hiding; Nicholai didn’t bother.
They sat together in the dark, and finally Luciano spoke. “It’s just… I’m the kind of person who gives all of myself. I can’t say ‘oh, what goes on here doesn’t have anything to do with what’s back home’, because it does. I can’t have part of me with her and part with you – it’s all or nothing. And… I’ve already promised myself to her.”
Nicholai looked at him, a face covered in shadows. “Why did you come here?”
“I told you… I missed you…”
“Sounds to me like I’ve already got a part of you.”
Luciano turned his head away and was still a moment, then stood up and wordlessly walked out of the room.
Nicholai didn’t try to stop him.
/chapter 6
So instead of a doll story, I'll post the next chapter of this thing. Feel free to tell me how much I suck. Right now, I definitely believe it.
Title: One Last Chance
Genre: drama, romance, mm/yaoi/slash/gay/whatever you want to call it
Rating: R/NC-17 - there are some detailed sex scenes, but it's not a smut story
Warnings: Some of those sex scenes are a bit rough, but everything is consensual. Also, if you're perceptive, spoilers. >3
Chapter Notes: I can't tell if Nico is getting too out of character or not. .>_> In my defense, the point is that he's changing... But...
Chapter 6
To his credit, Nicholai recognized the changes in himself.
He liked Clay. He wasn’t lying when he said he enjoyed his company, and he liked how well their bodies fit together. He liked how small and light Clay was, but not so delicate that he couldn’t take a little rough treatment. He liked how saucy Clay was, the naughty brat, and how he wasn’t too shy to initiate sex.
He liked Clay, but he needed Luciano.
It burned, this need he felt for him. He wanted to crawl inside and consume him. Every time Luciano fought him off, it made him want him more. Every time the boy wouldn’t give himself, Nicholai wanted to take him.
But it wasn’t just Luciano’s resistance that drew him in. There was a mystery to him that Nicholai wanted to discover. There was something strange and wrong with the boy’s life, and he felt a closeness to him because of it.
He’d gone so long not wanting anything to do with other people, and now he had two guys crowding his mind.
Nicholai was laying on his bed, arms behind his head, lost in thought until Akira’s voice grabbed his attention.
“Clay is Asian, isn’t he?” Guess their little talk before gave him the impression that Nicholai was open to discussion.
“Clay Watanabe… Sounds pretty Asian-y to me.” He turned his head to look at the Japanese boy, who wasn’t looking at him. “But you would know more about that than I would.”
Akira absent-mindedly adjusted his glasses. “He’s half Japanese.”
“That’s nice.”
It was quiet a moment, before Akira cautiously continued. “Don’t you think… people of the same race should stick together?”
“What are you, racist or something?”
“No, it’s just… people from the same culture will have a better understanding of each other…”
“You think because he’s half Japanese I should keep my big, Russian cock away from him?”
Akira’s cheeks burst into bright crimson. “P-please don’t speak like that.”
Nicholai smirked at him. Then after a pause, he said “You like him, don’t you?”
“I- I- I-… No… I-it’s… not like that…”
“You should join us sometime. See what a big, Russian c-“
“Enough!” Akira turned his head away and threw his hands up, as if blocking a physical attack. “Please forget I said anything.”
Nicholai laughed at him, then got up off the bed and threw a sleeveless hooded jacked on over the tank-top he wore. He figured he probably looked like some kind of punk with his ripped jeans, but it wasn’t like they were going to some classy restaurant, so he opted for comfort.
Clay, he found upon meeting up with the boy, had gone for the cute look. He was wearing short shorts and thigh-high socks that surely would have only gone up to the knees of a normal person, with a tee-shirt that had some blue-haired cartoon character printed on it. It worked for him.
The student office-aid raised an eyebrow at Nicholai when they went to sign out day-passes, and Clay laughed, saying “I’ll make sure he comes back.”
Nicholai just grumbled, “What, he thinks I’m gonna take off or something?” But the truth was, he felt a sudden sense of freedom as soon as they’d stepped out of the school’s front doors.
There was a large park not too far from the school, with a lake and food vendors and a Ferris Wheel – all the things needed for a nice, real date. To get there they had to take a bus, but it was an easy trip, and before they knew it they were breathing fresh air and walking the same path actual couples did.
Clay took Nicholai’s hand, and he didn’t pull away. They walked like that for a time, either ignoring or, in Nicholai’s case, glaring at the people who stopped to stare at the two boys holding hands. He admitted, though, that they probably made a strange sight, like a demon and an angel pretending to be a couple. Actually, the people who didn’t stare probably just assumed they were brothers.
“So,” he asked after a bit, “what do you want to do?”
“Cotton candy, then the Ferris Wheel. No, wait! Ferris Wheel, then cotton candy.” Clay was brimming with happiness.
They rode the Ferris Wheel, where Clay revealed he was actually terrified of heights, but felt safe with Nicholai next to him. They had cotton candy, and threw coins into a wishing fountain, bought a lunch and had a picnic in the grass. At a game booth that was set up, Nicholai won a small teddy bear for Clay, making the boy squeak in joy.
It was just like a real date.
They had gone back to walking around when Clay spotted a vendor cart selling snacks, drinks, and candy. “Look, they have M&M’s!” he said with a smile. “They’re my favorite! I’m going to get some.” He trotted off, leaving a thoughtful Nicholai behind.
Akira had known.
He wandered to a nearby bench while he waited for Clay, mind reeling with what should have been obvious. Akira liked Clay a lot, and had taken the time to learn things about him. His family and favorite candy, and probably a lot of other things Nicholai himself didn’t know. Akira probably deserved Clay more than he ever would. He would definitely treat him better.
Akira would kiss him.
Clay bounced over to the bench, teddy bear under an arm as he tore into the bag of M&M’s. He sat next to Nicholai, saying “I haven’t had these in a while.”
Nicholai watched him for a moment, looking so happy and childishly innocent. He liked that innocence; something about it always made him want to corrupt the boy. And Clay seemed to really like being corrupted. But he deserved to be cherished and loved.
“You’re pretty cute, huh?”
“You think so?” Clay gave a knowing smile.
“Ya know, if you want someone to be boyfriends with, there are other guys who would be more than happy to do the job.”
Clay stopped chewing his candies, and swallowed what was in his mouth. “Are… are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”
He could lie and say that was the case, that he didn’t want to see him anymore. Maybe then Clay would move on and find someone else. But he didn’t want to lie and didn’t want to force the boy to be any sadder about the situation then Nicholai knew he already was. He wanted Clay to make the choice on his own, and to do that he needed to know what his options were.
“No,” he finally responded. But the delayed response had already brought tears to the other’s eyes. “No, I meant it when I said I like being around you. But I can’t give you what you want, and there are other guys I know like yo-“
“I don’t care!” Clay shouted. He brought his hands up to wipe away tears that continued to fall, dropping the bag of M&M’s in the process. The colored candies spilled out over the ground, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I don’t want anyone else! I only want you. Even if you can’t be my boyfriend. Even if you won’t kiss me. I… I only want you. So please! Please don’t throw me away…”
Clay leaned over suddenly, burying his face in Nicholai’s chest and clinging to his jacket as he cried. As if he were on the verge of losing something very precious. And all Nicholai could think to do was wrap an arm around the boy and assure him he wouldn’t be thrown away. If this was Clay’s choice, he could certainly live with it. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if something happened in his past to make him so afraid of rejection, or if this was simply what people in love were like.
They sat like that, with Clay crying out his fears and Nicholai glaring at anyone who dared stare at them, until the small boy’s sobs subsided. When Clay had been silent, save for a few hiccups, for a bit, Nicholai asked “Are you alright?” He felt a nod in response. “It’s getting late; do you want to go back?” Another nod. “Do you want me to buy you some more M&M’s?” This time the head shook in the negative.
It was actually later than he thought. Twilight was descending as they left the park, and it was fully dark by the time they returned to the school. Clay kept his head down as they signed in and walked back to the dorms. Anyone who tried asking “What’s wrong?” got scared off by Nicholai.
They reached Clay’s room and went in, and one look had his roommate, a tall, middle-Eastern kid whose name Nicholai couldn’t be bothered to remember, jumping up, asking “What did you do to him!?”
“Nothing,” Nicholai responded, not backing down when the other guy tried getting into his face. The kid was tall, but Nicholai was still taller. “Mind your own business.”
“My friends are my business.”
“Nasir, it’s fine” Clay said softly, bringing the other two to step away from each other.
Nasir threw a sneer at Nicholai, then just said “Fine. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” He turned and went back to his desk, but it was clear he’d be keeping an ear out to make sure Clay was truly alright, like some kind of white knight.
Clay began changing into his pajamas, so Nicholai pulled down the bedcovers. Though the sun had set, it was still early in the evening, but it had been a long day. No doubt the boy just wanted to close his eyes to the world for a while. So when Clay crawled into bed, Nicholai stooped down to pull the covers to his chin and tuck the little teddy bear in with him.
“I’m sorry,” Clay said. “I ruined our date.”
Putting a hand on the boy’s head and mussing his hair, Nicholai responded with “Nah, wasn’t ruined. I had fun.”
“I’m sorry if I said too much…”
“Don’t worry about it. You can’t help it.”
“And neither can you…”
Nicholai looked at him a moment, before saying “I just don’t get what you like about someone like me.”
Though most of Clay’s mouth was hidden by the bedcovers, he could see a smile as the boy answered “Because you’re so big and strong. I like your body.” He chuckled softly as Nicholai snorted at him, then added “And because you’re so nice.”
“Nice? Me?”
“Yep.”
“Are you sure you’re thinking of the right person?”
“You’re very nice to me. Especially lately.” Then his voice got very soft. “You’ve been a lot less angry lately.”
It was true. Since he’d been given his one last chance, and since deciding he needed to stay here, Nicholai had calmed down a lot. He was generally busy enough trying to keep out of trouble to let the preppy little shits here bother him, and they’d started leaving him alone since he wasn’t stalking about, picking fights with everyone. Even the teachers had begun greeting him with somewhat cautious ‘good morning’s. He was even starting to work on improving his grades, which took even more energy away from anger and fighting. Ever since that day, he’d had more focus, and less rampage.
Perhaps Feldspar knew what she was doing after all.
Nicholai gave a half-smile, then mussed Clay’s hair one more time, and stood up straight. “Get some sleep, brat.”
How easy it would be to make Clay happy, he mused as he headed to his own dorm. Just a little kiss. Maybe just give in and be boyfriends – it’s not like either of them were dating anyone else, and then he’d never have to see those brown eyes looking so sad again. It would be so easy.
But then there was Luciano.
Sitting in front of his door.
His knees were pulled to his chest and his arms were wrapped around them. His head was down, with his black hair falling forward, hiding his face.
“What are you doing here?” Nicholai asked as he approached.
Luciano looked up quickly, lifting a hand to brush his hair away. He gave a smile, but there was a pain in his eyes. “Oh! Hi,” he said.
“Why are you here?” Nicholai asked again.
“I got to thinking, and just became lonely,” he answered.
“Thinking? About me?”
“Not especially,” Luciano said with a forced smile. “Mostly about Papa, but one thought led to another, and… I guess… I missed you.”
Nicholai stared at him for a moment, then all of a sudden reached down and grabbed him by his shirtfront, hauling him to his feet. Kicking the door open, he briefly noted the room was empty as he dragged Luciano in, then knocked the door closed with an elbow. Without even turning on the lights, he threw the other boy on to the bed, and then climbed between his legs to lay over him. Their faces were close enough that their breath mingled. They were motionless for a moment, silent except for the panting breaths that came. They lay together like that, still. But Nicholai was getting hard, and he could feel Luciano starting to grow erect too.
Nicholai began rotating his hips, pressing their clothed groins together, pulling a moan from the other. He was so close to finally getting what he’d been needing; so close to finally having this mysterious boy. He pressed his hips down harder, and then pressed again.
“S-stop,” Luciano said. And when Nicholai didn’t, he reached up to put hands on his chest, giving a push. “Stop, please.”
“If I don’t?” Nicholai kept moving, making both of them harder. Moans were more frequent. “Will you point your gun at me again?”
“I’m unarmed,” Luciano managed between gasps. “But I’m asking you, please stop.”
And Nicholai did. It took every last ounce of willpower, but he stopped moving. They lay there like that, both painfully erect, crazy with need, but they didn’t move. Finally, Nicholai asked “Is it because of your girl?”
“Partially,” Luciano answered.
“Partially?”
“Mostly, it’s me.”
Then Nicholai climbed off of him, sitting at the edge of the bed as Luciano also sat up. Their eyes were adjusted to the dark, helped by the bright glow from Akira’s alarm clock. Luciano’s hands moved to cover his erection, hiding; Nicholai didn’t bother.
They sat together in the dark, and finally Luciano spoke. “It’s just… I’m the kind of person who gives all of myself. I can’t say ‘oh, what goes on here doesn’t have anything to do with what’s back home’, because it does. I can’t have part of me with her and part with you – it’s all or nothing. And… I’ve already promised myself to her.”
Nicholai looked at him, a face covered in shadows. “Why did you come here?”
“I told you… I missed you…”
“Sounds to me like I’ve already got a part of you.”
Luciano turned his head away and was still a moment, then stood up and wordlessly walked out of the room.
Nicholai didn’t try to stop him.
/chapter 6
