and I'll cry if I want to

I worked so hard to make sure I didn't end up spending my birthday alone, and at the end of the day, I really fucking regret it. I would have been better off by myself.

I just wanted one little thing, but I spent so much time making sure everyone else got to see and do what they wanted to see and do, that by the time we got around to what I wanted to see and do, it was too fucking late.

I just wanted one thing - my entire fucking reason for going, for putting up with getting pushed and shoved and stepped on by gross, sweaty asses. No matter how tired and hot and miserable I was, I tried to keep my head up, because it was going to be worth it in the end.

But it wasn't. Because even though what I wanted was right there, I was told no, that I was wrong, that that couldn't possibly be where it was, because I'm just a stupid fucking whitey who couldn't possibly be able to read the Japanese website. Surely I didn't look at that website every fucking day for a month to make sure I had the location memorized. NO. I was wrong, and everyone else was right.

Except I wasn't wrong, but because nobody bothered to listen to me, I missed out.

Just me! Only I missed out.


Happy fucking birthday to me.